Just a girl trying to find her way
So I work at a photo lab and an elderly woman came up to pay and after each transaction I have I ask, “can I help you find anything else today?” She responded with, “A million bucks.” The elderly man behind her said, “Ma’am, if you want a million bucks, just look in the mirror.” Her jaw dropped and she was completely smitten.
This man is at least 80 years old and his pussy game is immortal.
Pluto Tumblr Posts photoset
(You’re welcome)
OHANA MEANS FAMILY
VIVA LA PLUTO FUCK YOU
PLUTO IS CRYING
This isn’t some petty manufacturing error
This isn’t an outbreak of something stupid like anthrax
IF you make the mistake of ordering from Amazon in the next month and a half not only will you help prototype the new drone overlords, but in addition you could be seeing one of these MONSTROSITIES arrive at your front door
I need to order from Amazon right away!
Cannibalism holds the potential to solve both hunger and overpopulation problems.
…what the fuck are you thinking about in that shower
omfg today in English class we were talking about reading books and some girl shouts “BOOKS SUCK” and the quietest girl in my class says “yeah almost as much as you do on the weekends” even the teacher laughed omfg
i was the teacher
i was the quiet girl
I was the one getting the succ
That girl was Albert Einstein
Today in the park I was walking my dog and there was this other girl walking her poodle. She was really pretty and very very nice. Our dogs played for a little while. And then her poodle squatted and pooped, and when she leaned down to pick it up a dude started yelling obscenities about how he’d like to put his dick in her ass.
She got up and literally threw the bag of warm poop at him.
It hit him in the face.
I got to witness that. This might be the best day of my life.
I get emotionally attached to lyrics, like not necessarily a whole song just that one line that hits you in the gut and pulls out every emotion you can possibly feel and every time you hear that one line it’s like the whole world is okay for a few seconds.
How many followers do u need to have before u just get random curious anons or am i just too boring
Is anyone else really mild mannered usually but super violent minded?
Like, someone can bump into me and I’m just like ‘oh it’s ok’ but in my head I’m like ‘if you touch me one more time I’m going to shove my foot so far up your ass that the dentist will be picking my toes from between your teeth’.
somone put it into words
morphine-and-cigarettes